She said she loved the train. In the next breath, she said she loved me. Odd that we were on the wrong side of the train to catch it. If she really loved the train, she would have made sure we were on the right side, but we weren’t.
Look. I’m getting repetitious already.
She had that effect on me. Momma always said to be careful with the four-letter words. Use them to make an impact she would say. Corrine used four-letter words a lot.
I don’t think she always meant them.
Momma would say she was bad but I couldn’t help having feelings for her. She was pretty, though some might say she was a bit on the plain side. Besides her bad habit of using four-letter words, she was nice enough. She liked helping other people. She’d helped that old couple by the train get across the tracks.
She said she loved the train.
Why didn’t she stay on the right side to catch it? Why were we standing here on the slippery cobblestone embracing? Didn’t she realize her weight pulled me forward, making balance quite the task?
Love.
She loved the train. She loved me. Which is true, which is false? Are neither true? Could both be false? Momma always said to be careful with four-letter words. Use them to make an impact, she would say. Corrine used four-letter words a lot.
I don’t think she always meant them.
Momma says people who waste four-letter words are bad. Not worth the ground they walk on, she would say. The ground was so slick.
Letting go was the easy part.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, Michael gave me this prompt: “People say they love a lot of things, but they really don’t. It’s just a word that’s been overused.” -Bob Dylan
I gave Katri this prompt: headache, shoes, season, an hour, and a garden.
I am also linking this up to wordpress’s weekly writing prompt. This week we were given the picture above as our inspiration.
As always I welcome honest feedback. Please feel free to share your thoughts in a comment.
Thanks for stopping in!
[…] example, did you know that on Groundhog Day 2013, I had 478 views, 350 visitors, and 112 comments over the post that earned the Freshly Pressed […]
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I do not know if it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else encountering problems with your blog. It appears as though some of the written text in your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them too? This could be a issue with my browser because I’ve had this happen before.
Cheers
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Good stuff!
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It’s not a train. It’s a tram
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In the picture, yes. For my story, it was a train.
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picture made well use of indeed!
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Thanks.
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Look at you! Freshly pressed. I told you, I’d say, I knew you when. 🙂
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you will get a signed copy of my first book for free. You know that right?
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Wow! I love that. Definitely Freshly Pressed worthy. Congrats!
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Thank you.
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Reblogged this on 1992 and commented:
I don’t have to say much here. The three-word title says more than enough.
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I don’t know where you heard that from but honestly my mother actually always told me to be careful with the “four-letter words”- love or hate. And today when I look at all the young people who just started going out together, using the words “love you” over frequently, the words seem to lose their meaning and significance. I would really like to reblog this and also share it on twitter. Can I, if it’s ok with you?
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Love/hate weren’t included in the list of 4 letter words we weren’t allowed to say growing up, but they are, in fact, 4 letter words, and they are both overused.. I would love if you tweeted the link to my story, and since you were kind enough to ask about rebloggiing, I’m okay with that too. Thank you for enjoying my story so much you want to share it.
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Yes, I missed the other four-letter words we are not allowed to use while growing up. They are overused, as well. Thanks btw 🙂
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Thank you!
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Thank you for this well written story. I like that you describe the awkwardness of getting off balance while embracing – I have never heard anyone talk about this before.
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Thank you for your comment. I appreciate what you said.
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This post is really beautiful. You wrote almost poetically and utilized repetition, which I loved. Your mom seems like a wise woman, we all need to be careful with our “four letter words”.
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Thank you for your generous compliments. I took care of the extra comments, so no worries.
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I “love” it! You are very talented. Congrats on being freshly pressed!
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“love” the word play. Thanks for the compliment and for stopping in.
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Reblogged this on Living the Life I Imagined and commented:
i “love” it!
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Thank for liking it enough to reblog it. I’ma bit touchy about reblogging (not a fan). I love that you think my work is worth sharing, I’d just prefer to be asked next time, please? Thanks.:) Thanks for stopping in and taking time to leave me a comment.
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Awesome..
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Thanks!
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Beautiful I must say. An excellent piece.
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Thank you.
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Poignant little piece here, and I liked the use of repetition (hardly see that anymore). Definitely could be used in a shortfilm.
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Thank you so much. Hmmm. Your handle suggests you are in DC. Is that true?
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I am in the DC area yes
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Cool. I’m a little south of you in Virginia.
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[…] Four-letter Words-My Write Side […]
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How wonderful to hear such a convincing male perspective. I haven’t dared attempt this but you do it so well! Great work 🙂
Tallulah
http://choosesimplicitydotorg.wordpress.com/
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Thanks! Perhaps I was a man in a former life. 😉
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Love the play btw the 4 letter words concepts. Also love the male perspective. The only aspect that seemed contrived was the “Why isn’t she on the right side to catch the train?”… it doesn’t lay naturally with the rest of the situation. I mean that as constructive criticism, not standing judgement. I LOVE the prompts… I’ll need to look into Scriptic and the weekly writing prompt (even if it’s just for my own personal writing log and not a post or anything). Thanks!
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Thank you for the honest feedback. I hope to see you at the Scriptic challenge!
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Honesty and vulnerability. Two of my favorties. Bravo.
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Thanks.
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I love this type of writing, it is really beautiful. Very well done (:
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment and the compliment. 🙂
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You write as a man so effortlessly!
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Oh wow! Thank you!! That’s such a nice compliment.
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Fabulous piece of work 🙂 The opening lines just drew me in.
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Thank you.
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Wonderfully written!
Adieu, scribbler
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Thank you.
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Awesome monologue. I would like to see it performed on stage! Well done.
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Oh that’s intriguing.
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YOW! Sinister!
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🙂
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Fantastic little piece of writing. Really quite something; you’re very talented. 🙂
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Thank you. It means a lot to me that you took the time to leave a comment.
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Your very welcome 🙂
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I love it how you use the term “four letter words” instead of ‘love’. Less then three the storyline as well. Congrats for being freshly pressed ^^
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Thank you!
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This is a beautiful piece, made me want to jump right in! Thank you for posting – and congrats on being freshly pressed!
– Mihir
http://mihirkamat.wordpress.com/
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Thank you, seriously.
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My mom always said what I should or should not do, well I will say yes to her minds, but doing on the “no” side. Finally, my mother had no idea on me! Should I feel lucky to get rid of mom’s protection or not?
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depends on what it is she told you to do or not to do.
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Momma says people who waste four-letter words are bad. Not worth the ground they walk on, she would say. The ground was so slick. Momma isn’t always right, right?
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Oh I don’t think momma is right at all.
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Tis true! http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
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What a fascinating little story! Your use of repetition was really effective. I really enjoyed it. 🙂
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Thanks! Your comment means a lot to me.
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Great writing. I ‘love’ the train too and I ‘love’ your story. I ‘mean’ it. I guess I use four letter words a lot too 🙂
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
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Thank you and I “love” your comment. Four letter words are fun to say. 😉
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‘Yeah’!
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Sweet & simple 🙂
Not Alone
http://hopeoflight.wordpress.com/2013/01…
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Great read. Simple but amazing!
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Thank you.
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Love it! It’s no wonder you are on fresh pressed twice 🙂
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Twice?
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oh nvm sorry it’s showing dpchallenge three times and one of them is yours 🙂 my bad!
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It’s all good. Glad you stopped in!
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My pleasure! enjoyed your post 🙂
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Thanks!
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Phenomenal idea and writing! Great post, I very much enjoyed reading it!
cambriacorner.wordpress.com
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Thank you.
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[…] Four-Letter Words: Insert a torrent of swear words here. […]
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ouuuuu, like the twist there at the end…
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Thank you!
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Liked this – a ‘flash’ of inspiration!
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Thanks.
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Congrats! I’m a little freaked out now…great post!
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Thank you.
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I enjoyed the spin you put on this. My version focused on somebody in the background dealing with a different set of issues: http://feitcanwrite.com/2013/01/29/one-thousand-words-a-dp-challenge/
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Thank you
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really love this, im kind of new to wordpress and kind of stumbled on this by accident but im glad i did
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I’m glad you did, too. Thanks for reading.
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I want more! This is a great opening for a novel. I feel like something creepy will happen next.
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Never thought of writing more. Maybe someday. Thank you for commenting.
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Very romantik .
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I really enjoyed this, there was a sense of mystery behind it, and interpretation. Art. http://socalmistress.wordpress.com/
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Art? Now there’s a compliment! Thanks!
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It was very intriguing to me trying to figure out what his feelings were. He seemed very conflicted. Great job!
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Thanks, Stacey.
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Very nice. I read a lot of the prompt responses and this was refreshing (and diabolical). Really, really good.
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Thank you! Welcome to my Write side. I’m so happy to meet you.
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He doesn’t quite sound like the kind of guy I’d picture traveling to little known European hamlets 😉 A bit of a homebody, a momma’s boy of sorts. Simple
Perhaps she sees him as a project.
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Perhaps. Who said they were traveling?
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good point 🙂
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😉
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I liked the repetition… and the preoccupation with “Momma”, though maybe mid-makeout isn’t the time for that kind of thought 😛
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LOL. They were embracing. 😉
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I “love” your alternate take on the meaning of “4-letter words.” Well done.
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Thanks, Eric.
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I liked that I couldn’t quite figure if he physically or emotionally let her go…
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Or maybe both?
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It has been a while. You are getting good. Very good. 😀 What you put out and what you held back made it fun and interesting to think about. Very nice, SAM…
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It’s nice to see you here again, Brett. Thank you for the compliment on my growth as a writer.
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You did a fabulous job of depicting his angst about her feelings. I could feel his questions, his uncertainty. Excellent writing.
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Thank you.
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