“They say you will fail.” The princess’s voice filtered through the black silk covering her face. It allowed only her eyes to show, deep and piercing blue waves on stormy waters. She was stretched out on her bed, her legs in the air, reading. She laughed at the sight of him.
He turned to look at her. His hand went into his small pouch and a quick jerk released dust that settled over him. “Remove the silk.”
“Haven’t you been told? You will go blind.” Her hand flipped in the air, dismissing him.
He stepped closer to her, his hand raised as if to strike her. “Remove the silk!”
“No.” She huffed, and turned on the bed, leaving him her back as audience.
“Then so be it. Remove. The. Silk.” He kept his voice even but his fists clenched, his jaw tightened, and he stepped closer to her. He raised his arm and held his open palm out to her. “Please.”
“I don’t want to. In fact,” she said, her fingers drifting to her head and twirling loose strands. “I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Please leave.”
He stepped closer to the bed, his arm still extended. He resisted the urge to pull the silk away himself. Trust was key to his success. “I won’t.” He planted his feet shoulder length apart, and crisscrossed his arms across his chest. He willed his feet to cement themselves to the floor.
Her nostrils flared. Her fingers curled into a fist. She rose from her bed, and approached him. She stepped close, bumping him slightly, but he didn’t budge. She pushed him, and still he didn’t move. She ran towards the bed, gathered her arms to her waist, lowered her head, and charged. He stepped to the left at the last moment, and she slammed into the wall instead. She was stunned to discover the silk covering her face gone. She turned and faced him, defiance written all over her face, a wicked smile dancing on her lips. “Say goodbye to your eyesight, freak.”
“So this is the beauty that blinds all men,” his hand covered his mouth to hide the smile of satisfaction on his face. His other hand reached into his pouch again and more dust flew through the air, settling on the princess. “Now, I shall leave you alone. Goodnight, princess.” He waved, mocking her as she coughed.
She watched him leave, then flew to the window. The moon hung large in the sky waiting for their next move.
(To be continued…)
This week Write on Edge challenged me to try a piece using one of the writing tools I’d like to polish a bit. I’m not quite sure I set out to do what I was trying to do here, but a great weakness of mine involves action during dialogue–what are they doing while they are talking, since it is not natural for people to sit/stand still during conversations, even at the dinner table. So that was what I attempted here, perhaps too much or perhaps not enough. What do you think? (and I really want to know!)
This piece comes from Fairy Tale, a story I started in September and never came back to.
This is also my response to the Bloggy Mom’s Writer’s Workshop. We were challenged to write about anything we wanted to, as long as the story ended with “The moon hung large in the sky waiting for their next move.”
Calling all moms to join Bloggy Moms Writer’s Workshop, today.
As always, I am always looking for feedback on my writing. Please leave your thoughts in the comments and help me grow, especially today. How can I improve my dialogue and the actions my characters take during conversations?