In January, I introduced myself to a new community, Just Be Enough. I mean, I have been a reader for a long time, but when the call to join the writing team went out, I have to tell you I struggled. Hard. I want to take the chance so badly, but…
I had an internal battle with fear, time, and laziness. Seriously.
The biggest battle was fear, however, and that’s why I chose the word Courage as one of my three words to work on this year. The real first step to finding courage came when I submitted my application to the Just be enough staff. Then, the second step came in accepting the invitation to join the team (did I mention I swooned when I got the email?). The third step was writing that first post, putting my voice out there in a new way. Then, last Friday, I took a very important first step to conquering that same fear by coming out of my shell and unmasking the woman behind “SAM.”
In other areas of my life, I had the courage to enforce a new discipline technique on my very stubborn and uncouth stepson. I had the courage to seek out new sources of publication. I dived back into my completed novelette, seeking space to add 3,000 more words to the story to fit the word count of a much desired publishing home.
Now, I need the courage to follow through and make time to work on the novelette, hon it and tone it, until it is “perfect”. Then I need the courage to send it off and put my name out there.
I gathered enough courage to chop my hair off in a new hairdo, and learned to cherish the esteem it gave me. It made me feel pretty, something I don’t often feel. Now, I seek new ways to cherish my appearance, my personality, the make-up of me. I’m also learning to cherish my husband, though many days the task is hard.
It’s not that I don’t love him, because I do, fiercely. It’s that he is selfish more than not, and there are many issues within our marriage because I am standing in the valley with our children while he is on the mountaintop alone. If I don’t learn to cherish the baby steps he is making to climb down the mountain and join us in the valley, our marriage may not survive.
I’m learning to cherish my children in new ways that have me yelling less and understanding more, and as a result, there is more peace and cooperation overall.
I’ve cherished the sacred mornings of quiet where I can spend time with my Lord, delighting in whatever He has to say to me today, and that makes my entire day different. It gives me a feeling of completion that helps me go to sleep at night without all the thoughts of what I could have done different that day.
Completion….word number three. I’ve taken some baby steps towards completion, but nothing I’d brag about it today. I am content with the progress I’ve made towards getting it, however, and that alone is priceless.
How about you? How are you doing achieving the goals you set for yourself this year?