Photo courtesy of Cheri Lucas.
She said she loved the train. In the next breath, she said she loved me. Odd that we were on the wrong side of the train to catch it. If she really loved the train, she would have made sure we were on the right side, but we weren’t.
Look. I’m getting repetitious already.
She had that effect on me. Momma always said to be careful with the four-letter words. Use them to make an impact she would say. Corrine used four-letter words a lot.
I don’t think she always meant them.
Momma would say she was bad but I couldn’t help having feelings for her. She was pretty, though some might say she was a bit on the plain side. Besides her bad habit of using four-letter words, she was nice enough. She liked helping other people. She’d helped that old couple by the train get across the tracks.
She said she loved the train.
Why didn’t she stay on the right side to catch it? Why were we standing here on the slippery cobblestone embracing? Didn’t she realize her weight pulled me forward, making balance quite the task?
Love.
She loved the train. She loved me. Which is true, which is false? Are neither true? Could both be false? Momma always said to be careful with four-letter words. Use them to make an impact, she would say. Corrine used four-letter words a lot.
I don’t think she always meant them.
Momma says people who waste four-letter words are bad. Not worth the ground they walk on, she would say. The ground was so slick.
Letting go was the easy part.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, Michael gave me this prompt: “People say they love a lot of things, but they really don’t. It’s just a word that’s been overused.” -Bob Dylan
I gave Katri this prompt: headache, shoes, season, an hour, and a garden.
I am also linking this up to wordpress’s weekly writing prompt. This week we were given the picture above as our inspiration.
As always I welcome honest feedback. Please feel free to share your thoughts in a comment.
Thanks for stopping in!
03/03/2013 at 9:02 pm
Good stuff!
02/14/2013 at 12:30 am
It’s not a train. It’s a tram
02/14/2013 at 10:33 pm
In the picture, yes. For my story, it was a train.
02/12/2013 at 2:08 am
picture made well use of indeed!
02/12/2013 at 9:07 am
Thanks.
02/11/2013 at 8:07 pm
Look at you! Freshly pressed. I told you, I’d say, I knew you when.
02/11/2013 at 9:22 pm
you will get a signed copy of my first book for free. You know that right?
02/11/2013 at 2:01 pm
Wow! I love that. Definitely Freshly Pressed worthy. Congrats!
02/11/2013 at 2:22 pm
Thank you.
02/09/2013 at 8:47 pm
Reblogged this on 1992 and commented:
I don’t have to say much here. The three-word title says more than enough.
02/09/2013 at 4:04 pm
I don’t know where you heard that from but honestly my mother actually always told me to be careful with the “four-letter words”- love or hate. And today when I look at all the young people who just started going out together, using the words “love you” over frequently, the words seem to lose their meaning and significance. I would really like to reblog this and also share it on twitter. Can I, if it’s ok with you?
02/09/2013 at 5:35 pm
Love/hate weren’t included in the list of 4 letter words we weren’t allowed to say growing up, but they are, in fact, 4 letter words, and they are both overused.. I would love if you tweeted the link to my story, and since you were kind enough to ask about rebloggiing, I’m okay with that too. Thank you for enjoying my story so much you want to share it.
02/09/2013 at 8:39 pm
Yes, I missed the other four-letter words we are not allowed to use while growing up. They are overused, as well. Thanks btw
02/10/2013 at 7:08 pm
Thank you!
02/08/2013 at 2:39 pm
Thank you for this well written story. I like that you describe the awkwardness of getting off balance while embracing – I have never heard anyone talk about this before.
02/09/2013 at 2:29 am
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate what you said.
02/08/2013 at 1:09 pm
This post is really beautiful. You wrote almost poetically and utilized repetition, which I loved. Your mom seems like a wise woman, we all need to be careful with our “four letter words”.
02/09/2013 at 2:31 am
Thank you for your generous compliments. I took care of the extra comments, so no worries.
02/07/2013 at 5:28 pm
I “love” it! You are very talented. Congrats on being freshly pressed!
02/07/2013 at 5:42 pm
“love” the word play. Thanks for the compliment and for stopping in.
02/07/2013 at 2:50 pm
Reblogged this on Living the Life I Imagined and commented:
i “love” it!
02/07/2013 at 5:41 pm
Thank for liking it enough to reblog it. I’ma bit touchy about reblogging (not a fan). I love that you think my work is worth sharing, I’d just prefer to be asked next time, please? Thanks.:) Thanks for stopping in and taking time to leave me a comment.
02/07/2013 at 11:18 am
Awesome..
02/07/2013 at 5:41 pm
Thanks!
02/07/2013 at 1:59 am
Beautiful I must say. An excellent piece.
02/07/2013 at 7:49 am
Thank you.
02/05/2013 at 12:51 pm
Poignant little piece here, and I liked the use of repetition (hardly see that anymore). Definitely could be used in a shortfilm.
02/05/2013 at 1:20 pm
Thank you so much. Hmmm. Your handle suggests you are in DC. Is that true?
02/06/2013 at 7:37 pm
I am in the DC area yes
02/06/2013 at 7:40 pm
Cool. I’m a little south of you in Virginia.
Pingback: The Better Man Project | SociopathiCuttlefish
02/05/2013 at 12:43 am
How wonderful to hear such a convincing male perspective. I haven’t dared attempt this but you do it so well! Great work
Tallulah
http://choosesimplicitydotorg.wordpress.com/
02/05/2013 at 7:53 am
Thanks! Perhaps I was a man in a former life.
02/04/2013 at 12:17 pm
Love the play btw the 4 letter words concepts. Also love the male perspective. The only aspect that seemed contrived was the “Why isn’t she on the right side to catch the train?”… it doesn’t lay naturally with the rest of the situation. I mean that as constructive criticism, not standing judgement. I LOVE the prompts… I’ll need to look into Scriptic and the weekly writing prompt (even if it’s just for my own personal writing log and not a post or anything). Thanks!
02/04/2013 at 1:36 pm
Thank you for the honest feedback. I hope to see you at the Scriptic challenge!
02/04/2013 at 10:32 am
Honesty and vulnerability. Two of my favorties. Bravo.
02/04/2013 at 1:35 pm
Thanks.
02/04/2013 at 7:57 am
I love this type of writing, it is really beautiful. Very well done (:
02/04/2013 at 8:05 am
Thank you. I appreciate your comment and the compliment.
02/04/2013 at 7:06 am
You write as a man so effortlessly!
02/04/2013 at 7:54 am
Oh wow! Thank you!! That’s such a nice compliment.
02/04/2013 at 5:02 am
Fabulous piece of work
The opening lines just drew me in.
02/04/2013 at 7:54 am
Thank you.
02/04/2013 at 12:55 am
Wonderfully written!
Adieu, scribbler
02/04/2013 at 1:51 am
Thank you.
02/03/2013 at 9:06 pm
Awesome monologue. I would like to see it performed on stage! Well done.
02/03/2013 at 9:29 pm
Oh that’s intriguing.
02/03/2013 at 7:10 am
YOW! Sinister!
02/03/2013 at 8:48 am
02/03/2013 at 6:35 am
Fantastic little piece of writing. Really quite something; you’re very talented.
02/03/2013 at 8:46 am
Thank you. It means a lot to me that you took the time to leave a comment.
02/03/2013 at 8:53 am
Your very welcome
02/03/2013 at 6:30 am
I love it how you use the term “four letter words” instead of ‘love’. Less then three the storyline as well. Congrats for being freshly pressed ^^
02/03/2013 at 8:46 am
Thank you!
02/03/2013 at 4:37 am
This is a beautiful piece, made me want to jump right in! Thank you for posting – and congrats on being freshly pressed!
- Mihir
http://mihirkamat.wordpress.com/
02/03/2013 at 8:47 am
Thank you, seriously.
02/03/2013 at 4:09 am
My mom always said what I should or should not do, well I will say yes to her minds, but doing on the “no” side. Finally, my mother had no idea on me! Should I feel lucky to get rid of mom’s protection or not?
02/03/2013 at 8:47 am
depends on what it is she told you to do or not to do.
02/02/2013 at 9:23 am
Momma says people who waste four-letter words are bad. Not worth the ground they walk on, she would say. The ground was so slick. Momma isn’t always right, right?
02/02/2013 at 12:23 pm
Oh I don’t think momma is right at all.
02/02/2013 at 7:40 pm
Tis true! http://www.segmation.wordpress.com
02/02/2013 at 8:54 am
What a fascinating little story! Your use of repetition was really effective. I really enjoyed it.
02/02/2013 at 12:23 pm
Thanks! Your comment means a lot to me.
02/02/2013 at 6:02 am
Great writing. I ‘love’ the train too and I ‘love’ your story. I ‘mean’ it. I guess I use four letter words a lot too
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
02/02/2013 at 12:21 pm
Thank you and I “love” your comment. Four letter words are fun to say.
02/05/2013 at 8:03 pm
‘Yeah’!
02/02/2013 at 1:25 am
Sweet & simple
Not Alone
http://hopeoflight.wordpress.com/2013/01…
02/02/2013 at 12:42 am
Great read. Simple but amazing!
02/02/2013 at 3:35 am
Thank you.
02/01/2013 at 11:10 pm
Love it! It’s no wonder you are on fresh pressed twice
02/01/2013 at 11:36 pm
Twice?
02/01/2013 at 11:40 pm
oh nvm sorry it’s showing dpchallenge three times and one of them is yours
my bad!
02/01/2013 at 11:47 pm
It’s all good. Glad you stopped in!
02/01/2013 at 11:55 pm
My pleasure! enjoyed your post
02/01/2013 at 11:56 pm
Thanks!
02/01/2013 at 9:30 pm
Phenomenal idea and writing! Great post, I very much enjoyed reading it!
cambriacorner.wordpress.com
02/01/2013 at 11:37 pm
Thank you.
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02/01/2013 at 7:25 pm
ouuuuu, like the twist there at the end…
02/01/2013 at 11:39 pm
Thank you!
02/01/2013 at 7:00 pm
Liked this – a ‘flash’ of inspiration!
02/01/2013 at 11:40 pm
Thanks.
02/01/2013 at 6:10 pm
Congrats! I’m a little freaked out now…great post!
02/01/2013 at 11:40 pm
Thank you.
02/01/2013 at 4:11 pm
I enjoyed the spin you put on this. My version focused on somebody in the background dealing with a different set of issues: http://feitcanwrite.com/2013/01/29/one-thousand-words-a-dp-challenge/
02/01/2013 at 11:41 pm
Thank you
02/01/2013 at 3:19 pm
really love this, im kind of new to wordpress and kind of stumbled on this by accident but im glad i did
02/01/2013 at 11:41 pm
I’m glad you did, too. Thanks for reading.
02/01/2013 at 2:48 pm
I want more! This is a great opening for a novel. I feel like something creepy will happen next.
02/01/2013 at 11:42 pm
Never thought of writing more. Maybe someday. Thank you for commenting.
02/01/2013 at 2:05 pm
Very romantik .
02/01/2013 at 2:02 pm
I really enjoyed this, there was a sense of mystery behind it, and interpretation. Art. http://socalmistress.wordpress.com/
02/01/2013 at 11:43 pm
Art? Now there’s a compliment! Thanks!
01/31/2013 at 9:55 am
It was very intriguing to me trying to figure out what his feelings were. He seemed very conflicted. Great job!
02/01/2013 at 11:46 pm
Thanks, Stacey.
01/30/2013 at 1:40 pm
Very nice. I read a lot of the prompt responses and this was refreshing (and diabolical). Really, really good.
01/30/2013 at 3:25 pm
Thank you! Welcome to my Write side. I’m so happy to meet you.
01/30/2013 at 10:51 am
He doesn’t quite sound like the kind of guy I’d picture traveling to little known European hamlets
A bit of a homebody, a momma’s boy of sorts. Simple
Perhaps she sees him as a project.
01/30/2013 at 3:24 pm
Perhaps. Who said they were traveling?
01/30/2013 at 3:34 pm
good point
01/30/2013 at 3:35 pm
01/30/2013 at 10:08 am
I liked the repetition… and the preoccupation with “Momma”, though maybe mid-makeout isn’t the time for that kind of thought
01/30/2013 at 3:24 pm
LOL. They were embracing.
01/30/2013 at 7:12 am
I “love” your alternate take on the meaning of “4-letter words.” Well done.
01/30/2013 at 7:17 am
Thanks, Eric.
01/30/2013 at 6:58 am
I liked that I couldn’t quite figure if he physically or emotionally let her go…
01/30/2013 at 7:16 am
Or maybe both?
01/30/2013 at 5:50 am
It has been a while. You are getting good. Very good.
What you put out and what you held back made it fun and interesting to think about. Very nice, SAM…
01/30/2013 at 7:17 am
It’s nice to see you here again, Brett. Thank you for the compliment on my growth as a writer.
01/30/2013 at 12:09 am
You did a fabulous job of depicting his angst about her feelings. I could feel his questions, his uncertainty. Excellent writing.
01/30/2013 at 12:10 am
Thank you.