April 15, 2006
There were fifteen pictures left and spare flashbulbs in her pocket. The rumor of a phoenix sighting had drawn a lot of interest locally. She was determined to make her mark in history by capturing a photo of it.
She busied herself finding the best location in the abandoned house. The house itself was a small, one room abode. The windows had long since been knocked out and covered with boards. The paint both inside and out was peeling. A coating of dust covered the wood floor except for one spot. Here was where the phoenix would rise, and she needed the right lighting for her shot. Slivers of sunlight slipped through two holes in the roof, making a perfect spot to set up the tripod.
She leaned back to survey her work. The camera crowned the tripod and was angled just precisely so. She sat down behind it and waited. It would not happen before sunset, of that she was certain. Unease crept over her as she thought of sitting alone in the darkened house, but it crumbled quickly as excitement mounted. The time was coming. Her bones told her it was true.
A tentative foot stretched towards the cleared section, as if testing. It landed firm and the other soon joined it. A few more steps and she stood in the clearing. A hum resonated from her throat and she began spinning, dancing, spinning. The fingers of her left hand twitched subtly every few seconds, in careful precision. A flash of light filled the room, banishing the shadows for a few seconds. Her eyes closed as a smile stretched across her face. Her body tingled, as if coming to life for the first time. Tears moistened her eyes.
Still she kept spinning. Dancing. Spinning.
She did not stop even after feathers replaced her skin. She danced even as the flames erupted, surrounding her whole body. Her hum turned to a gentle squawk. Her skin glowed brightly, the fire expanding, illuminating. Her wings fluttered briefly carrying her to the ceiling as one last flash lit the room, and the fire died. She tumbled back to earth, fresh ashes joining past ones, the only sign of her rebirth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
April 15, 3006
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We were challenged by Write on Edge this week to write up to 450 words inspired by the phoenix.
The 3 Word Wednesday challenged me to use unease, crumble, and drawn in a story. You will find all three of those above.
The first line of this story is the prompt from the Bloggy Mom’s Writer’s Workshop this week. It comes straight out of Kim Edwards The Memory Keeper’s Daughter. “There were fifteen pictures left and spare flashbulbs in her pocket.”
I’m always seeking constructive criticism. Won’t you please share your thoughts in a comment?
Thanks for stopping in!!

08/17/2012 at 1:44 pm
sometimes the shedding and rebirth is the part you need most of all, I love how she smiled as it happened. It felt real and right for her to do that.
this will be a good short story, lots of avenues to explore.
08/17/2012 at 1:56 pm
thanks,kir. i’m still not sure this will go any further butbi haven’t closed my mind to it either.
08/13/2012 at 8:20 am
so much mystery left in the story – was she the phoenix? or did the phoenix just consume her in its rebirth? beautiful story
08/13/2012 at 10:56 am
Thank you, lexy!
08/12/2012 at 10:23 am
I really enjoyed each of the details you crafted into the piece: the extra flashbulbs, the dancing. I’d like to see it as a short story, too. I think there could be something really beautiful about expanding it.
08/12/2012 at 1:02 pm
Perhaps there is more here for me to explore later. Thanks for your input, Angela!
08/11/2012 at 3:25 pm
Wow… her transformation was captured beautifully. Awesome piece!
08/11/2012 at 3:44 pm
thanks, dana.
08/13/2012 at 11:29 am
And thank you for your lovely comment on my blog!
08/13/2012 at 11:33 am
You deserved it. It was a beautiful poem!
08/11/2012 at 2:42 pm
The description of the transformation is spot on.
08/11/2012 at 3:09 pm
Thanks!
08/11/2012 at 5:20 am
That was completely unexpected! I wanted to clap when I first realized what was going on. Also, I absolutely enjoyed the image of a woman dancing and spinning as opposed to the traditional “bird bursting into flames”. Very well played.
08/11/2012 at 11:15 am
Thank you!
08/11/2012 at 2:03 am
Ooh… I like the answer you gave to Carrie, that perhaps she was the phoenix all along, and was drawn back to that place to be reborn…
08/11/2012 at 2:17 am
That was the intent behind the story..the twist, if you will. Apparently it wasn’t as clear as I thought it would be. I like the various views though.
Thanks for stopping in, Amy!
08/10/2012 at 7:36 pm
Well done! I love how you added the newspaper at the end of the story to end it. I can’t decide if I think the piece should be explored a little more, as I can see fleshing bits out more, or left as is, as I do think it does stand well on its own right now. Great job!
08/10/2012 at 8:11 pm
Any endingI came up with just didn’t’ seem to fit. It was quite challenging actually to find the right ending, though the story was complete. Thanks for reading!
08/10/2012 at 5:37 pm
I find the phoenix a very interesting creature. I was quite exciting…”spinning, dancing, spinning”
I wondered (rather hoped) from the first line of the second paragraph that she would take center stage. Very nicely done.
08/10/2012 at 6:22 pm
Thank you. She was spinning and dancing throough my head the whole day until I was able to complete the story, too.
08/10/2012 at 2:09 pm
I think this could be an interesting short story, expanded to explain a little more about how she was drawn to that place. It feels like there are missing connections between her being at that particular house and ultimately realizing she is the phoenix
08/10/2012 at 6:21 pm
Boo on the missing connections, LOL. Perhaps she knew from the beginning that she was the phoenix, returning to the place where it started to be reborn again.
08/10/2012 at 10:06 am
Oh, magic and enchantment.
Beautifully written. You did put together all of the prompts seamlessly.
~Imelda
08/10/2012 at 12:26 pm
Thanks, Imelda. it was the bloggy mom’s prompt that set the story in motion.
08/10/2012 at 4:25 am
Nicely played, with all the prompts too! Very enchanting!
08/10/2012 at 12:48 pm
Thanks, Shel!
08/10/2012 at 3:54 am
I enjoyed reading this. The descriptive passage of the house is very evocative and the story ellipses nack into itself nicely. I like the way you included the apocryphal material as well in the added section. Nice.
08/10/2012 at 12:49 pm
Wow, thank you for sharing your thoughts!!